The POTATRON!
by a mountain of gideon's scones
Summary: Myrnin has made a new invention - with what results? Please R&R!


Myrnin and his potatoes!

**Written for Channy1441997, with your random ideas :P**

**Hope you all enjoy it!**

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"Claire, please come and observe this wonderful creation I've made!" Myrnin gushes on the phone, making Claire worried simply by the choice of words.

"I'll be right over... You haven't burned down the lab or anything, have you?" she ascertains hesitantly, waving away Shane's attempts to kiss her - she cannot be distracted when all those books are at sake. And Myrnin, of course. But he can get himself out: the books can't!

"Don't be silly, Claire, why would I do something so stupid?" he asks her, unable to get snappy because of the brilliant invention he's made.

"This is _you_ we're talking about," Claire reminds him as she pours a glass of orange juice, ready to be downed in one. "You know, the guy who booby-trapped his own boxes?"

"I apologised a long time ago for that - now are you coming over?" Myrnin asks, getting a little tetchy that Claire doesn't want to come straight away to see his invention.

"Three minutes and I'll be there," she promises before pressing the red button on her nokia e63.

Shane nuzzles her neck from behind but she is already moving it back, to glug the orange juice down in the one she predicted. Her movement causes Shane's nose to bang into the rather solid (and uncomfortable) earring Claire is wearing on her right earlobe and he rubs the tip of his nose in pain.

"What's crazy vamp Myrnin got planned for you today?" he asks as Claire whirls around the kitchen, leaving waves of cleanliness around her.

"Dunno but he said it was important," she gives the pitiful amount of information she knows and Shane snorts.

"Claire, the guy thinks when he cooks a piece of toast - which for the record isn't cooking - it's important," he reminds her.

"He hasn't actually managed to do that yet," she confesses. "He burnt down the entire wall of his kitchen when he put the bread in the frying pan and left it, the beans in the toaster and the raw eggs in the microwave still in their shells," she says and Shane laughs his head off.

"Well enjoy your baked bean clean up session," he says, grabbing her waist to pull her close for a second. He kisses her lips softly before she has to pull away - Crazy vamp boss' ringtone is diduling away.

"Myrnin, I'm leaving now," she says, in response to the question "Where are you?"

She darts across the kitchen and through into the living room. If it wasn't for his vampire reflexes and speed, she almost crashes into Michael who steadies her. He then pulls away, with a hungry sheen in his eye which he forces away enough to laugh at the bumbling Claire.

She sprints through the portal and into the lab, expecting to see scenes of mayhem and destruction. But it's... _Normal! _There's not a thing out of place.

"Ahhh, Claire, you made it!" Myrnin enthuses from the corner, his unnecessary reading spectacles perched on the end of his nose peculiarly. He sprints over to her side and pulls her across to the other side of the room, where a medium sized item lays covered in a green velvet cloth.

"Myrnin, what is that?" she asks slowly, with the sudden realisation that it may be a brain or some other equally nasty body part.

"That, my dear, is the thing I called you here to see," he says, excitement evident in his tone. "It is going to be a worldwide phenomenom, with people queuing to buy it."

A new invention then.

"Myrnin, what does it do?" Claire asks worried that it'll be like in Sweeney Todd and be a killing machine for barbers.

"Claire, do you ever find the length of time it takes to boil potatoes mundane and boring?" Myrnin asks her, making her fear and worry levels increase dramatically. Without drawing attention to herself, she moves to look into the kitchen to see if there are any tell tale scorch marks indicating that Myrnin's set it on fire.

Myrnin is still waiting for an answer and when he's in this excitable mood, agreeing with him is always the best policy.

"Uh, yeah, I guess," she stammers and his young, handsome, face breaks into a huge smile.

"Then you shall never be disappointed again! Let me unveil..." he says, placing his hands on the cloth to rip it away. "The potatron!" he produces a curious looking device - a deep fat fryer with lots of additional wires and circuits, all waiting for a stock of starchy potatoes to be dumped into their midst.

"The potatron?" Claire repeats, trying desperately not to laugh. "So... This boils potatoes quicker than normal?" she ascertains and he shakes his head erratically.

"No, no, Claire," he says urgently. "It boils the potatoes _instantly_! No boring waits wondering if anyone will BBM me on my blackberry curve - by the way, nobody has - which you insisted on me getting. No worries that they're over or underdone - this makes perfectly cooked potatoes now!"

"So does it work?" Claire asks the next question, knowing the answer before he says a word.

He looks sheepish and twirls his thumbs. "Well, you see, I haven't actually had chance to test it yet... I was just so excited to show you and I know in the pit of my stomach that it will work!"

Claire sighs before moving through to the tiny kitchenette and finding a pile of ready peeled spuds. She carries as many as she can carry through to the lab where Myrnin eagerly piles them into the fryer part. He then moves the machine closer to the portal and shrugs his shoulders as Claire asks him why.

"It's just another feeling in the pit of my stomach Claire - you know, the one which tells me that this is going to work," he says, not obnoxious WHATSOEVER! "Learn to trust the stomach, Claire, it's got me here!"

He presses a large button on the machine before darting back to join her, ducking below one of the labbenches.

A fierce reaction is occurring in the 'potatron' with red flashes of light shooting upwards and a hissing noise hearable. Claire decides to take a walk on the wildside with Myrnin and stands up from under the bench.

Myrnin smiles a smug smile as the thermometer on the fryer thing tells him that the potatoes are cooked.

"See, little Claire, I was right," he says in the same manner as his smile was - smug!

But the potatoes don't stop cooking - no they continue to cook and heat up and Claire knows that they're going to explode... All over someone!

Just as the potatoes explode, the portal opens and noone other than Amelie steps through. She is wearing a beige jumper with brown trousers, soon to be topped with a helping of exploded potato.

She shrieks as the mush attacks her and Myrnin looks horrified.

"Uhoh," Claire mumbleS as Amelie wipes the mush from her covered face and Claire ducks under the bench again - the possibility of safety from Amelie's wrath exists under there.

"You crackpot old IDIOT!" she yells at Myrnin. Oh yes, she is mad!

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**Channy1441997 - did it meet your expectations?**

**What did the rest of you think?**

**Please review!**

**Vicky xx**


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